Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
