enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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