need another drink. this is the easiest way
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
