yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
