Me too!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
