so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
