somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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