he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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