i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
