HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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