there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
