i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
