Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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