Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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