lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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