So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
They are going to name an STD after you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
