idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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