Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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