hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
