Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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