Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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