It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
