there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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