i don't like sucking hair
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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