Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
