drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
