If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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