id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize