Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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