stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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