he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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