I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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