Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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