I wanna passion pit in your ass
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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