Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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