It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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