I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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