You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
