Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
