i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize