so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
