MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
