she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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