No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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