so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
