next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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