sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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