I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
