she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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