I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my shit smells like andre
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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