she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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