apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
