I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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