And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
