i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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