just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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