Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
